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Today, my sister made a funny joke in the car. Mama didn't understand it. "It's because she doesn't know what a pun is, Monika," I said. My mother attentively responded: "Pun? Jaki 'pun'? Jest tylko jeden-- Pan Bog!" MLIP.

Today, my mom asked me which teams were playing in the Super Bowl. Later, I overheard her telling someone that the "pakersy i stilersy" were playing. MLIP

Today I was feeling terrible because of my cold and went home. My dad told me there were only 2 ways that I could have gotten sick; not wearing my "kapcie" or "wychodzac z domu z mokra glowa". What did I get to make me better? Wapno i goraca herbate. MLIP

Today on my lunch break at work I went to look for some new clothes... Didn't even make it to the clothes stores as I passed the polski sklep and spent my whole lunch break in there. I walked out with bottles of Kubus, Wawel czekolada and paczki. MLIP

Today I had to slave on my hands and knees with a rag because that's the only way to properly myc podloge. MLIP

Today, I realized that my parents pronounce lunch, lounge, lunge, and launch the same way: lancz. MLIP

Today, my dad gave me a talk about dating. I'm not allowed to date meksyki, muzyny, etc. Turns out I'm only allowed to date polaki. MLIP

Today my mom called me from her domek to ask "Jak sie pisze sheets? Przez e czy i?" "Przez dwa e Mamo" "To napisalam zle... "I only had time to wash your shits, but not the children's shits." MLIP

Today, my dad and i went out for dinner, a muzyn walks in , my dad says "a patrz jak ten sie opalil" MLIP

Today, at the grocery store, I didn't skip a beat looking at the grocery list that read "sewenap" and picked up the bottle of 7up like my mother wanted. MLIP